Me: oh hey look I will buy this book
Me: oh. This sounds good.
Me: aww this is so adorable
Me: I want someone like this in my life
Me: wait a second
Me: I should not have looked further down the page than where I was reading
Me: my whole world is falling apart
Me: *tries to calm self down with false reassurances*
Me: waIT SHE LEAVES
Me: wAIT HE LIT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE
Me: waiT THE GUY IS GAY
Me: okay that girl is kind of a bitch.
Me: why doesn't this book exist. It sounds so wonderful but it's just a made up book inside a book aw
Me: wAIT SHE DIES
Me: HE DIES TOO??
Me: *throws book at wall*
Me: *sobs as if I've lost my first born*
Me: *continues reading*
Me: wait.. its over?
Me: *curses John Green for the next month*
Me: *buys all john green books and repeats previous stages*
John Green: *laughs maniacally in the distance while writing another ovarie smasher*